Cultural curiosities explained: The Bierbike

If you ask foreigners what comes to mind when they think about Germany, chances are at least 99% of them will say: "Beer". Dig deeper and you might get replies such as "Munich", "Cuckcoo Clock", "fast cars" or "loud and angry", but usually also a mention of "bicycles everywhere!". It is the German love of  fresh air, physical activity and an innate need to expose oneself to the elements that led to the creation of one of the finest examples of German engineering and ingenuity - the Bierbike.

German design and technological advancement at its best

This hommage to the cultural richness of our country has been invented to inspire hordes of young men and women to embark on (self-propelled) city tours, during which they soak in the historical monuments and places of Germany's most beautiful cities, all while enjoying a refreshing sample of an ancient brew that for centuries has nurished hard-working Germans. Given the educational and experiencial value of this invention it isn't surprising that the Bierbike was hailed by authorities as a new way to attract visitors and, with them, money to their cities.

Alas, reality soon took over. Of course nobody actually rents a Bierbike to undertake a sightseeing tour of Berlin or Münster. I don't know who ever thought this would lead to anything but an(other) excuse to get wasted in public and annoy everyone in close proximity. Attempt to take a leisurely stroll through any of Germany's picturesque town centers and chances are you'll be nearly run over by an out-of-control Bierbike loaded with 10-15 singing football fans or (worse) a hysterically shrieking hen party. And quite possibly your view of the impressive and glorious Berlin Dome will be impaired by this:

Bierbikes can give the idea of "honeymooning" a new meaning

It now seems that local authorities have caught on to the annoyance. In several cities, permissions for Bierbikes have been revoked and city councils are debating on making them illegal alltogether. In true German fashion, the issue comes down to a technicality. Originally considered a form of transportation (ask any driver stuck behind a swaying Bierbike at 6mph and he'll laugh in your face at the suggestion), there are now politicians arguing that the actual intent of the Bierbike is "partying" - reason enough to have their transportation license revoked.
Of course this has turned into a political issue, and I wouldn't be surprised if it became a deciding factor in the next local election campaigns. People don't like their drinking opportunities taken away!! Personally, I think this whole thing could be taken care of before then if all drivers are given exemption from prosecution for accidentally hitting Bierbikes in the midst of a "vomit stop" on a public road. By the way, I read a rumor that someone is planning a "Glühwein"Bike to tour the Christmas markets. If it comes to that, I may have to move abroad again.

Adult things

It's here. I have been fighting a long time to try and delay the moment, but I think I have finally reached it. Adulthood. The moment of realization came this morning. I had just come out of a 2.5 hour appointment with a financial adviser, who had done his best to scare the crap out of me with his doom and gloom calculations of how I would be left with...well...nothing at the end of my working life. And as I pondered the various options of life insurances, retirement schemes and savings plans I realized: I'm getting old.

Yes, just like that. 

Well, maybe not old, but grown up. The sure signs had been all over recently, even though I tried my best to ignore them. So to avoid this happening to you, here is how you know when you've grown up (for real): 

• Aside from bills, your mail consists mainly of wedding invites, birth announcements and ads for car insurance
• "I will never drink this much again" turns into "No thanks - It's going to take me days to recover. I'll drink water"
• The shopping list includes things you actually need (aside from toilet paper) 
• Your idea of a fun night out is having a drink at a quiet bar with a decent wine list
• You refer to most of your friends as "you guys" to account for the fact that they have a life partner (or a baby) attached to them at all times
• Vacations are planned around wedding dates (not your own of course)
• Your little sister is giving you financial advise - and you listen!
• Spontaneous sleepovers seem like a real hassle because you'd much rather sleep in your own, comfortable bed

I'm sure there are many more, but I can't remember them now. Must be an age thing. But anyway, I guess in the end, the thing about growing up is that it's not half as terrible as you first think because you're actually in control. Okay, the thrill of your pay check coming through soon wears off when the short jubilation is followed by 4 weeks of red lines on your bank statement, but at least you know it's all your own doing. And there is something said about coming home to your own place where you can do as you please - so long as you don't annoy the neighbors or break the rules or forget to take the garbage out before going out of town and causing a fruit fly invasion that makes you re-think your boisterous statement about independence and being on your own. Oh well...it's all part of the experience and just like this video says: It's not that bad! :-)

Frisk Fisk

I just returned from a quick little trip to the Danish coast. Three days of sun, wind and a 900m wide beach with plenty of road space - perfect! Anyway, I'm using this as a way to get into the blogging habit.

Recovering Lucas

A friend of mine and her husband started a blog about the journey they've embarked on since finding out that their son has autism. Please take some time to read up on their experience and the many ways they are trying to share their little boy's world. Even if you aren't personally affected, they are an inspiring example of how to take on what life throws at you. If you know someone dealing with the same thing, pass their story on. And if you want to support them in affording their son the treatments that will help him, please do so.

Recovering Lucas

False argument

The other day I was reading yet another article about global warming. Or rather, I read another article where someone argued why global warming wasn't a man-made problem. Fine. Even with the evidence that the concentration of CO2 in the atmosphere has dramatically increased in the last 50-60 years or that the average temperature curve is pointing steeply upwards or that the layer of glacier ice is decreasing every year - even with all that at hand, I still give you the benefit of the doubt. Say all those nay-sayers and global warming "doubters" are right in saying that mankind only has a marginal impact on all those patterns because there have always been periods of heat and cold in the history of the earth. Because isn't that the argument brought forth whenever some "green extreme leftist" wants something to be done about it? 

Don't fall for it. He just wants a free ride!

Either way, the discussion annoys me, because in the end it doesn't matter what causes climate change. Fact is, we're in the shit and if we don't try to change a few things around the house, we'll be roasted off this planet in a few centuries. So I want all environmentalists and climate change believers to start arguing on a level that the doubters can understand: Self interest and money. Instead of trying to reason on a moral level, appeal to people's greed. It works much better!

Take the rain forests. Deforestation causes habitat loss for animals. Soil erodes away so that local folk won't be able to grow anything on it in a few years time. Less green means less carbon sequestration. It's all terrible, but... people don't care. It's too far away and too abstract. However, maybe if people knew that 25% of our pharmaceutical drugs come from rain forest plants and only 1% of all plants have even been tested for their medical use, maybe the 50,000 plants that go extinct each year* appear in a different light. Saving the rain forest could mean curing Great Aunt Millie's cancer!

Pick your poison: Insectophobia or potential cure for infertility

...which one is it? 

This makes me think that loss of biodiversity 

might have its advantages

Or think about air pollution. People don't like to hear that they shouldn't be driving their car because it's bad for the environment. They won't care. But maybe the fact that asthma rates in the US and Western Europe have gone up 50-60% in the last 10 years* and that this increase has been linked to poor air quality will actually get them to listen. And seriously, you can't tell me that people in LA actually like breathing in all that smog from China*?!?

If you want to have as much fun with an inhaler as this little girl, 

all you have to do is keep doing what you're doing

More smog will mean more fun for all those fog lovers out there. 

Every place will be like Delhi in the winter - all year long!

In the end, saving a few polar bears from drowning won't be the driving force behind big behavioral change. People need to see that they can benefit personally and directly. Companies need to see that they can actually save money by putting environmental policies in place. And I wish the discussion would move to that level, instead of arguing over something that has absolutely no impact on the outcome. Because even if the climate change doubters end up being right and it's all just a regular old climate pattern repeating itself, humanity will probably not survive long enough to witness their victory dance. 

Dear Catholic Church,

Last week I broke up with you. By that I mean I actually went and excommunicated myself. Believe me, I didn't do it lightly or because I was in a certain mood. We haven't worked out for a long time, and it was time one of us got up the courage to separate the ties before it all went to hell (no pun intended). I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but...I couldn't keep lying to us anymore. 

We started off well together. In fact, I thought this was going to last forever. But for a long time I ignored the signs along the way - like when you wouldn't let me be an altar boy because, well...I was a girl. That really hurt my feelings and yet I kept telling myself that you might change. I always knew your intentions were good and I appreciate the many things you do to make life better for so many people. Many of your members give a lot of themselves for others, without asking for much in return. I always found that sexy. 

But as time went on, as I got to know you better, there were more and more questions that you couldn't answer. When I questioned your stand on certain issues, you avoided the tough talk and gave me some lame excuse about historical importance and tradition. When I pointed out that you contradicted yourself in your dogmas, you ignored me or changed the subject. And frankly, you were never able to explain to me how your message of "love thy neighbor" fits with your discriminating opinions about gays or your dismissive attitude towards other religions. 

Worst of all, you treated me as if I were the enemy for asking the tough questions. Relationships don't work like that! I guess on some level you were trying to protect yourself. I know these aren't easy times for you and I probably should have tried sooner to make us work again. But you have to shoulder some of the responsibility as well. Bigotry and backwardness may work in your (elderly) circles, but they aren't the way to go in the real world, the world where many people don't care for your pretty robes and golden chalices. They care about finding spirituality and peace...and I think you bury that too deep in your choreographed ceremonies, your political power structure and your patronizing demeanor. 

I think you knew this was coming. For years we've been going through the motions without any passion whatsoever. My annual Christmas visit was done for the sake of tradition - I'm sure you noticed I never participated in your "blood and body" ritual anyway. I want you to know that this is not about the money. I do find the church tax idea ridiculous, that's true, but this is not about the 45 Euro a month you take out of my paycheck. In fact, I'll keep giving that money away, but to a cause I can whole-heartedly support. 

Please don't get me wrong. I don't wish you ill and I hope we can be friends. I still admire your community involvement, your charity work and the fact that you give strength and help to many people. But it's too late for us. We just don't see eye to eye anymore and I'm saving us both from dragging this on until we're bitter ex-lovers who can't be in the same room together. 

So with that, I hope you now understand my reasoning. I wanted you to know because after all we've been through, I think you deserve an explanation. 

Wishing you all the best going forward, 

Me

24 hours on this planet

I admit I am stealing this post from a German sustainable and social business magazine called "enorm", which I found the other day at the news stand. But some of the stats were quite mind-blowing if you take a minute to think about them. So please do. And then think some more.

In 24 hours...

...25.000 people die of malnutrition
...62 million people eat at McDonalds
...250.000 tons of fish are caught out of the ocean
...74 types of plants and animals go extinct
...224.640 babies are born, 82% in the developing world
...630.000 tons of meat are produced
...13.200 children die from water-borne diseases
...40 tons of radioactive waste are produced (and, may I add, we have no place to store them!)
...270.000 trees are cut - just for paper towels and toilet paper
...130 million tons of garbage are created
...57.600 soccer fields worth of forests are eroded
...Tiger Woods earns 247.968$. Not sure how this is significant, but interesting nonetheless if you're the IRS trying to figure out his taxes.

So, there you have it. Make of it what you want.

Royal Wedding Roundup

I don't particularly like weddings. I don't like that you have to dress up or the buffet food or having to sit at the table with all the other pathetic singles. I don't like the cheesy speeches and games nor the big first dance hoopla. Really, the best thing about weddings is the free drinks, of which I try to have lots to forget about the uncomfortable shoes. In addition, I'm not a romantic either. I think all those prince-on-white-horse-kiss-in-the-rain-movie scenes are a conspiracy by a number of industries (candy, beverages and dating websites come to mind) to make women feel awful about themselves and their current love (or lack thereof) situation.

Going British for the big day!

Given all that, you wouldn't think I am the type to get excited about something as show-offish and lavish as a royal wedding. Well, you're wrong. And while it pains me to admits it, I'm not ashamed to say that I get totally mushy-brained when it comes to those occasions. There is no logical explanation for it. Nor am I especially proud of it. But when Kate walked down the aisle I was in front of the TV sipping tea and munching cranberry scones, exchanging fashion opinions on the dress with my mom and sister (in case you're interested, I thought it was lovely, of course). We sniggered at some of the hat and outfit choices (Fergie's daughters need to be locked up, I think), wondered which of the royal relations had gotten plastic surgery just in time for the big event, and stared like big-eyed monkeys to not miss the royal kiss on the royal balcony.

Willy looking like a balding Prince Charming,

Kate wrapped in my grandma's crochet curtains

And then it was over and I started to think about why we all made such a big deal about it. I mean, really. The ceremony was dull, which was probably due to William and Kate's utmost professional (sorry, royal) behavior. No tears, no lovey-dovey looks, no reassuring pat on the arm for the new princess. The castrate choir boys got on my nerves with their high-pitched screetching.And nobody in the royal rows fell asleep or fainted. At some point I thought the whole thing could only be saved by someone's hair catching on fire or Princess Beatrice's antler hat poking her sister's eye out. It doesn't help that Kate has been so well trained in all things royal that you got the sense she didn't dare move her head without thinking it over twice. Or that William looked as if he had accidentally taken a sleeping pill instead of aspirin (though to be fair that could just be because he has the charisma of a dead trout).

The Queen proved her open-mindedness by inviting

drag queen representatives to the wedding

Personally I liked this dress better than

the actual wedding dress. And why is

Camilla wearing her morning gown?

So my only hope was for some tongue action on the Buckingham balcony or at a minimum some serious smooching à la Maxima and Wilhelm Alexander. After all, there was a record to be broken! Well, it wasn't to be. I guess Willy just isn't competitive enough. And really, who cares anyway? Whenever something is so hyped up, it can't live up to the expectations. Still, I'm happy for the Brits who made it a great party. It was great fun and of course sooooooooo romantic and beautiful that I can't wait for the next royal big event of the year - I hear the wedding bells are ringing in Monaco in July.

Perfect day to post the lyrics to this song. So true. And congrats to the German Green Party for their historic win in what used to be Germany's second most conservative state. The times are changing, for sure. 

The Times They Are A-Changin'

Bob Dylan*

Come gather 'round people

Wherever you roam

And admit that the waters

Around you have grown

And accept it that soon

You'll be drenched to the bone.

If your time to you

Is worth savin'

Then you better start swimmin'

Or you'll sink like a stone

For the times they are a-changin'.

Come writers and critics

Who prophesize with your pen

And keep your eyes wide

The chance won't come again

And don't speak too soon

For the wheel's still in spin

And there's no tellin' who

That it's namin'.

For the loser now

Will be later to win

For the times they are a-changin'.

Come senators, congressmen

Please heed the call

Don't stand in the doorway

Don't block up the hall

For he that gets hurt

Will be he who has stalled

There's a battle outside ragin'.

It'll soon shake your windows

And rattle your walls

For the times they are a-changin'.

Come mothers and fathers

Throughout the land

And don't criticize

What you can't understand

Your sons and your daughters

Are beyond your command

Your old road is

Rapidly agin'.

Please get out of the new one

If you can't lend your hand

For the times they are a-changin'.

The line it is drawn

The curse it is cast

The slow one now

Will later be fast

As the present now

Will later be past

The order is

Rapidly fadin'.

And the first one now

Will later be last

For the times they are a-changin'.

A nation of settlers

I read in an article not too long ago that only a relatively small percentage of Germans feels really happy in their job and that over 60% thought they weren’t being paid ‘fairly’ – whatever that means. A few days later I had a discussion with a coworker about the lack of motivation among employees and why many people don’t seem to have an interest in doing their best at work. On Saturday when I was at the grocery store, I overheard the following exchange between a mother and her daughter, probably around 6 or 7 years old, in front of the dairy shelf:

Daugher (friendly enough): “Mom, can I have blueberry yogurt?”

Mother (appalled by this outrageous demand): “Not today. These are only 35 cent, pick some from there.”

Daughter (in whiny nasal voice): “But they only have strawberry and cherry. I want blueberry!”

Mother (sighing impatiently): “I’m not paying that much, just because you want blueberry. Then you just won’t get any.”

And then I had an epiphany:

It’s no wonder so many Germans are disgruntled, bitter and resigned. We are taught, from the earliest days, the art of delaying gratification and small pleasures for the prospect of security and (perceived) prosperity. We settle for things we don’t really want -jobs, boyfriends, hobbies - because giving them up means giving up predictability, stability and control. We are a nation of settlers – and not the fun, adventurous kind!

I mean, that little girl is already learning that the 5 cent saved on yogurt are more important than giving in to her blueberry craving. How sad is that?!? I know people my age who have established themselves in their jobs quite well, but for different reasons aren’t happy there anymore. Yet they don’t leave and, of course, argue very rationally. They’d have to take a pay-cut, start all over again, maybe move or have a longer commute. But I’m asking myself: Are they really planning on sticking with this job for the next 40 years? There is no way they will be productive, motivated employees. Nor will they be happy. Is having a savings account and a comfortable lifestyle worth all that misery and wasted talent?

I’m not saying all Germans are like that. Of course not. And in fact, I’m sure Germany has benefitted from our addiction to savings contracts and our propensity to avoid irrational purchases, especially in times of economic distress. But where half my Indian friends are starting their own companies and a lot of American friends have changed jobs 2-3 times in the last few years, most Germans I know still work at the same place they started at after graduation or are at least planning to stay in their current job for the next….decades.

Another telling statistic to make my point: Quality of food for many Germans is not the most important factor to consider when throwing things into their grocery cart – as long as it’s cheap. Of the Western European countries, Germans spend almost the smallest percentage of their income on food – 12%. In France it’s 17%, in Italy and Spain 20% * (I don’t think it comes as a surprise that the British are even worse than the Germans, given some of the things they call 'food') . I couldn’t find a proper statistic to proof it, but I just get the feeling that if you're willing to forgo a bit of luxury for the pleasure of eating seriously delicious bread with herb infused olive oil to a nice glass of red wine, you're better off!

So I guess my message to Germans is this: Lighten up! We need to learn how to enjoy ourselves now instead of waiting to do it after we retire. If you want blueberry yogurt and it’s more expensive than the other kind – buy it anyway! Maybe it helps you be less miserable in other parts of life. And I’m sure it makes life for your colleagues more fun, too!

A step back

When I spent the last years preaching and giving (often unasked) advice on environmentally friendly behavior (just one word - Styrofoam at the Commons!), I was doing so for two reasons: One, I actually do care and think it’s time we stop treating our home planet like it’s disposable. And two, because I grew up in a place where recycling, composting and using canvas bags was completely normal. So, when I lived in the US or trawled around Central America, India and who knows where else, I always had the German way of conscious consumption in my head as a beacon of hope – the shining example of how responsible people should live.

Returning back home after a long time, one of the things I was looking forward to was living among people who ‘got it’ and who didn’t think getting a separate plastic bag for each item you buy is perfectly reasonable. But boy had times changed! At first it wasn’t very noticeable at all. People still drive fuel-efficient cars, even if that is often a financial decision rather than an ecological one. Shopping baskets and canvas bags continue to thrive. There is barely a house that isn’t covered in photovoltaic cells. And people still walk and bike everywhere. Yet somehow I feel things have regressed in many ways.

I remember growing up, recycling was a major act with each household having 3-5 different bins for various types of garbage, but it was just what people did. Today, many apartment buildings don’t even offer recycling bins anymore, even if the tenants would want them. When I lived in Hamburg, most of my 40 housemates seemed to have no interest in separating trash, and the few that did were soon discouraged from even trying.

I also get a profound sense that consumption has become the focus of everyone’s life. Compared to US consumers, for whom I feel instant gratification is all that matters, Germans are still less spontaneous and way more strategic about their purchases. But overall, it seems to be about having more of everything more often, and it doesn’t matter if you throw it out tomorrow – there will be something better or cheaper anyway.

Most of all, however, I was stunned by the revival of the plastic bottle. This was pretty much an extinct species when I was little. Schools and kindergartens all but banned them. My mom even remembers notes from teachers asking parents not to send their kids to school with plastic yogurt cups because of the environmental impact. Water and juice were sold in glass bottles only. Getting caught with a plastic bottle or – gasp! – a can was social suicide akin to what an existence without a Facebook account is today. In short, people took their environmental conscience seriously.

So it rather took me by surprise to come back to a country of plastic bottle addicts. Discount markets are full of juice, cola and water packaged in plastic bottle six-packs and people drag entire shopping carts full of them back to their apartments. According to Wikipedia, in 2003 alone, 800 million bottles were used in Germany – and that was before the government-sponsored refund system catapulted the usage back into oblivion! In 2008, 78% of all soft drinks were packaged in PET bottles, compared to 50% in 2004**. That’s a lot of freaking plastic!

So please, Germans, can we go back to the old days? To the times when we could shake our heads condescendingly at the piles of plastic trash mounting in American yards on garbage day? When we could look down our noses at the plastic bags handed out at French and Italian supermarkets while vacationing in Tuscany? Don’t get me wrong – Germans are still doing a lot of things right in terms of being environmentally friendly. But preaching about not getting your lunch boxed in Styrofoam was just more fun without feeling a little hypocritical!

The Nutella Wars

Today I was laughing out loud when I read this article. A concerned mother has brought forth a class action law suit against the makers of Nutella, claiming that the product was advertised as a healthy and nutritious breakfast food even though it is no such thing. In the article it says that "the complaint alleges that the plaintiff was "shocked" when she learned that Nutella was not healthy and "was the next best thing to a candy bar"".
Oh....really? After buying something that looks (and tastes) like dark chocolate fudge enriched with chocolate, you were "shocked" by the fact that it had sugar and calories in it? Am I the weird one here thinking this is hilarious?

Who wouldn't look at this and think

"wholesome and full of vitamins"?

I'm not saying she has gone completely wonky. Growing up in Germany, Nutella has been (and still is) a cultural icon for which only the biggest of sport stars get to do commercial work for - Boris Becker back in his days, the German national football (soccer) team today. And for decades they've portrayed themselves as a breakfast spread full of healthy things like milk and hazelnuts, which I always found a bit pretentious. But I still don't know anyone who looked at a jar full of Nutella and thought "Hey, here's a healthy alternative to fruits and vegetables! Let's just grab a spoon and huddle around the Nutella!"

German football players conspiring in consumer deception

But I guess my point is this: The whole point of advertising is to persuade consumers to buy something they either don't need or don't want to begin with. Why is it that so often people are surprised to find that advertisements didn't tell them the truth?? Advertisements are not public service announcements. They don't have any responsibility to inform you that devouring a bag of Frito Lays and Whopper a day will end up giving you ten extra pounds and terrible indigestion. Their only job is to make sure you keep buying more, plus some Tums on top of that. If that woman had spent just a few seconds looking over the label on the jar, she would have realized she was buying a heart attack in a jar.
So, how about taking some responsibility for yourself - and your children? What about reading the nutrition label or simply using a bit of common sense? I know that's probably asking for too much in the country where people sue shoe companies for failing to point out that open shoe laces might cause you to fall, or coffee chains for not mentioning that you could burn your mouth on hot coffee. And maybe the problem isn't that people are suing out of (what seems) sheer boredom, but because they actually get away with it and make a poo-load of money off it. But my suggestion is this: When a case such as this one lands on a judge's desk, he needs to have a good laugh and then dismiss it with an official notice for the plaintiff to get a life and learn to take responsibility.

Even animals fall victim to false advertising:

This specimen is under the assumption he is consuming a salad.

And now I'm off to make some very delicious and completely unhealthy Nutella pancakes. And in solidarity with one of my childhood icon brands, I might even lick a spoonful just for the heck of it!

Did you know...? India edition (revisited)!

As any graduate will tell you, the T-bird degree does give you some (unwritten) permission to forgo political correctness when it comes to making sweeping statements about cultures, so bare with. None of this is meant to be taken too seriously. During my country hopping time in grad school I started doing the "Did you know..?" posts as a way of reflecting on some of the weirder or more intriguing customs or habits I discovered wherever I went. So, here goes the second India edition. Did you know that...
Food is all around you?
No matter where you turn, there is always a chaat stand nearby or someone selling delicious samosas. The whole country is like a 24-hour all-you-can-eat buffet, except most of the food actually tastes good! There is aloo this and saag that and it's all cooked with butter and cream. I really do wonder how a majority of the Indians are so darn skinny because it seems they are constantly snacking on something and ordering appetizers that would easily qualify for a main dish. But then again, maybe the food options just seem so vast because I'm not very selective about where I eat. I've had Indians gasp in horror upon learning that I eat the food on the trains or from some hole-in-the-wall restaurant that would definitely not pass a health inspector's visit. But I find those are often the best meals...or at least the most memorable ones :-).
Honking is an art?
Much has been said about the deafening noise that is Indian traffic. But the overwhelming number and variety of vehicles and an apparent lack of observed rules is one thing. Understanding the art of honking is quite another. There is the "Watch out, I'm passing you" honk and the "Careful, I'm turning left!" honk. Then you honk for people to get out of the way, for cars to move faster (even though they can't b/c they are stuck in an eternal traffic jam), and a few times for good measure in case you forgot to honk earlier. And while many trucks will actually ASK you to honk ("Honk OK please"), those asking you not to are duly ignored. Anyway, in case you're ever in need of a reliable taxi driver, I suggest you look for the ones who have one hand on the horn and the other on the stick - they are bound to get you through traffic the fastest!
Indians are obsessed with Hitler?
Not in a "He really wasn't that bad" kind of obsessed, don't get me wrong. But I was struck by how many people actually asked me flat out what I thought of him and whether Germans still liked him. I'm not implying that Indians feel somehow spiritually connected to Nazi philosophy, just because the Germans managed to turn the ancient religious swastika (a sign of good luck) into something most Westerners recoil from. I just think that maybe to many Indians, Hitler is not much more than an intriguing figure of history, who was able to somehow mobilize millions of people for a common purpose. Now, I wouldn't be making this preposterous claim (you can send me letters) just because a few curious locals inquired about my personal views on the Holocaust. Mostly I was inspired by this window display at a Cross Word bookstore - which I can almost guarantee you will not find anywhere in the world:

Spot the ideological leader guiding his

country to freedom from foreign domination

You don't need a blow dryer?
If in need of quick hair-drying, simply position yourself in the center of the room underneath the omnipresent ceiling fan and...soon you'll look like you've just spent an hour hanging your head out of a high-speed train window. This is due to a common refusal on the part of many Indians to operate the ceiling fan at anything other than full speed, even if that means you have to administer eye drops on a quarter-hour basis to prevent your eyeballs from drying into the sockets. On several occasions, I jerked involuntarily for fear the entire ceiling fan apparatus would rotate itself into oblivion or take off like a helicopter. Then again, it could also be a tactic to prevent the pollution dust to settle into your clothes... who knows.
Queuing is the one thing India didn't learn from the English?
Many Indians will tell you that, despite all the oppression and exploitation, not all things the English brought to India were bad. There's the school system, the English language as a common denominator amongst the multitude of regional tongues, and driving on the left (although I think only left-drivers will see this as a positive - the rest of us are too busy trying to cross the road without getting killed). However, the one thing that Indians did not adapt from the English, and which would have come in very handy in light of the 1.3 billion people on the subcontinent, is queuing. Seriously, if you've never seen a pack of hyenas attacking a buffalo carcass, watching a load of Indians trying to get on a bus will give you a good idea. Forget "respect your elders" or "women and children first". It's each man (and woman) for himself! A similar behavior pattern can be witnessed when trying to obtain one's luggage from the baggage claim. Being a foreigner, you of course have no idea that you need to push your way to the front of the belt WITH your luggage cart, disregarding feet and small children in the process, so you will inevitably end up watching your bag ride around the baggage claim several times until the crowds have thinned enough for you to scramble between legs and arms to haul your suitcase to safety. Don't worry though, it only takes a few missed trains to learn how to play the game...
Life is a musical?
At least in India it is. Malls are blasting the latest Bollywood anthems. Pimped up rickshaws with subwoofers the size of a small child blare Air Supply at full volume. Some truck drivers even upgrade the annoying beeping sound of their reverse gear to a melody (my favorite was Beethoven's "Ode to Joy"). You can't throw a rock without accidentally hitting a loudspeaker. And then of course there's the crazy Indian dancing. And the dancing in the movies. And kids dancing in the streets. It seems Indians find a reason to dance no matter what - and I love it. It's totally catching, whether you want to or not. Try listening to a Bhangra beat without moving any body parts. It's impossible - even for a German!

Delicious Delhi

Lonely Planet describes Delhi as "medieval mayhem, opulent metropolis, stately maiden aunt: Give it a chance, and this unruly capital will capture your heart. Yes, it's crowded, aggravating, polluted, extreme, and hectic, but hey - nobody's perfect."
Maybe I've been to India long enough to be used to it, maybe Delhi has really gotten its act together, or maybe Lonely Planet has gone mainstream, but I experienced Delhi as anything but aggravating, extreme or polluted. Compared to crazy Mumbai with it's insane traffic or the hustle and bustle of Ahmedabad's narrow streets, I thought Delhi was clean, organized and even fairly manageable where traffic was concerned. I'm suspecting my impression also had something to do with our host Ankit, who made sure we saw the glittering, pompous side of Delhi's shopping malls, hotel bars and restaurants ;-).
So here it goes...a few "snaps" (as they call it in India) from around Delhi...

India Gate (not to be confused with

Gateway of India in Mumbai)

Not sure I get this

Stately Delhi

Red Fort

And again - though barely visible through the constant fog

I didn't want to be the only person in the world who goes to India (twice!) without seeing the Taj Mahal, so despite spending a good portion of the night at one of Delhi's many dance clubs, we took to the road early for the 4 hour drive to Agra. Had I been on my own, it probably would have taken me 8 hours because e of all the amazing picture opportunities I saw along the way. Sadly enough, the one time I wasn't hanging out the window ready to shoot, was when Lauren spotted a so far undiscovered species (not even a google picture search turns up a result), which we appropriately named "Turban Ox". If you ever see one - take a snap for me!
Anyway, the Taj Mahal was, apart from all the tourists, beautiful and well worth the 750 rupees Lauren and I shelled out (our Indian friends paid 20). At least our tickets came with a bottle of water and a free guide who spoke such poor English that only the Indians understood what he was saying. Go figure. Oh well, I'm not complaining and the upside of paying "foreigner price" is that it somehow gets the security people to shove you to the front of the line, no matter how much the 100 Indian women behind you complain and push. Still makes me feel a bit...colonial though.

Out in the country

The Taj Mahal -1-

The Taj Mahal -2-

The Taj Mahal from what I'm sure is a completely

unique and never before seen perspective

A quick hop across the river from the Taj Mahal is Agra Fort. It's really pretty and I wish we had had more time to explore, but the main reason tour buses drop their loads off here is because you can catch an amazing glimpse of the Taj Mahal in the distance. On this day, however, even the view of the Taj was outstaged by an event so spectacular that hordes of foreigners craned their necks and pointed their cameras into the sky. For a moment I thought it was Michael Jackson making a rare appearance dangling a small child off the walls, but alas, it was just a family of red-arsed monkeys picking fleas off one another. Great to see that people pay buckets of money to take pictures of something they can see at any 3rd class zoo across Europe. Oh well...I also took a pic.

Baby monkey wondering what

he's done to deserve all the fame

Agra Fort at dusk

Famous glimpse of the Taj Mahal from Agra Fort so foggy

due to impressive level of pollution that I decided to use Photoshop

filter option to create illusion of high quality picture

Ahm...Ahme...Ahmama...Ahmedabad

Not quite as complicated to pronounce as Visakhapatnam and conveniently located between Mumbai and Delhi, Ahmedabad was the perfect destination for a little cross-country trip and a good opportunity for me to check off another Indian state visited - Gujarat, the only dry (as in, no alcohol) state in the country. So I boarded the train early in the morning, enjoyed the 7 meals they serve you in 7 hours (all included in the 25$ first class ticket) and hopped off the train fresh as a daisy in the afternoon. Thanks to my T-bird friend Aditya, I was equipped with a place to stay, a local expert to call in need, and a driver to whisk me off to an afternoon at Akshardham. After paying my respects to Lord Swaminarayan, I accidentally ended up in a guided exhibition (in Hindi of course) about the guru along with 60 fourth graders, whose teacher introduced all of them to me by name. I'm pretty sure if they had to write essays about their school trip, the only thing they would remember was the strange, unmarried (gasp!) white lady!

The next morning I was off on an early morning walking tour through the old part of Ahmedabad. At first I was a bit put off about having to get up at the crack of dawn, but seeing the narrow streets later in the day made me appreciate not having to try and stay in a group through the chaos. The tour took us through small back alleys and into a number of different temples - and I loved it, although my favorite sight was definitely this:

 Here are a few other pictures...

Spice market!

 Courtyard

 Laundry day

 People put these religious tiles on their houses to 

keep people from peeing on them. Nice, eh? 

Kite festival preparations

 Love this shot for some reason

 

Courtyard 2

The rest of the day I spent walking, walking, walking through old town, visiting the Ashram where Gandhi used to hang out and more walking. Another delicious dinner with Aditya and it was off to Delhi the next morning...